After covering platforms focused on bettering the Black community, I need to focus on Black men working to be better than the negative "no good" stereotype against us. African American men have heard most of these before, but have you thought about what they really mean?
Black Women in Academia
"Black women are marrying down when they choose a Black man."
Not according to statistics. BlackDemographics.com and the National Center for Education Statistics support the "most educated" part, but that is only in regard to college degrees. It excludes industry certifications and trade schools. That's important to keep in mind because many career fields have certs for specializing in a specific role. Many IT and cybersecurity specialists have skipped the academic route for CompTIA, (ISC)2, and GIAC certifications.
Black women aren't paid more than Black men or White women. That net earnings gap is much greater once you factor in the fact that more college equates to more student loan debt. The Post 9/11 GI Bill doesn't last forever. And there only so many grants, fellowships, and scholarships. For more intelligent insight on the racial wage gap you can check out Dr. T. Hasan Johnson's video.
Mindset of the Modern Women
"I bring me."
"I am the table."
Translation: "I add no value to your life, and you'll have to share what you have with me. Your money, time, and resources are ours, and my money is my money."
Does that sound good? Of course not. That usually means that she focuses on her earnings and credentials instead of things a good man will care about:
- Someone who wants to be a wife and mother
- Cooperative, smart, and agreeable (Kevin Samuels' words)
A woman's career achievements tell you nothing about how good a wife and mother to your children she will be.
Being a good businesswoman does not make her a good woman.
"I'm working on me and waiting for God to send me a good man."
Many women are passively looking for a mate or husband. They're unwilling to reflect on how they can better themselves for the man and lifestyle they want. Instead, they look to see how much they can get away with as they are. It is similar to when someone doesn't realize that you must put in the hard work before the opportunities come your way. It is easier to hope and deflect than to take accountability and improve.
Unfortunately, some women get away with this by getting pregnant out of wedlock. Then there's the conversation about single mothers treating children like inferior husbands (called "son husbands" these days) or little sisters. Those kids aren't raised, simply financially provided for and unfairly expected to fill that void.
Women's Health Today
"I look good fat."
Nah, most Black women are simply overweight. It wasn't always that way. Women have become significantly fatter over the past sixty years. The hot sauce is how many fellas learned to accept BBW because of how difficult it is to find a good, fit, Black woman. I was one of them. I'd argue that around the early 2000's BBWs were more respectful, respectable, and feminine than their skinny counterparts. Now, I see little difference.
As stated earlier, many women refuse to become better. It is a long but worthy journey to exercise and eat better for a goal. But if they would accept the challenge, women wouldn't care as much about men's height.
Purpose Before Pussy
This is a new one you should learn to embrace. Shout out to Coach Greg Adams. Quick bits of advice.
- Remove your entitlement. The world owes you nothing. And as a Black man, many will try to refuse what you deserve.
- Remember that ladies' best years, specifically regarding appearance, are in their youth. Father time and "the wall" are undefeated. Know what you need and want from a wife and mother to your child because looks will fade.
- Know your worth and stick to your standards for a woman.
- Ignore women that argue that there are no good men left. She's telling you that good men pass her by for some reason. Take the hint.
- You don't want to be in a marriage where you are not appreciated. SYSBM.
Thanks for reading. Better understand how Black women are portrayed in media by reading how the "Angry Black Woman (ABW)" evolved from the Sapphire and Jezebel caricatures.